i think my mom watched the whole time
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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