i wish there were pregnant emoticons
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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