i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
