I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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