yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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