she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
