I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
