I just cut my nipple shaving
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
