Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
