Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
