You can't motorboat a personality
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
