Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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