'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
