everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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