I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I CAN MOONWALK!
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
