Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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