is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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