...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
