We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
