You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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