So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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