We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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