how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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