:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
