hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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