she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
