talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
