brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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