Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
