My hair reeks of homosexuality.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
then he tried to convert me to islam
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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