How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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