at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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