he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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