Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
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