she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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