I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
