You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
