why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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