Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
