a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
