I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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