remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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