Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
