somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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