It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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