HIV tests are more positive than that guy
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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