Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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