Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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