you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
