No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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