Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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