How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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