you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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