Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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