I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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