he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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