He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
