That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
