Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
