Whod you bang
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
