And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Come share oat with me in your robe
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
So apparently I’m into choking now
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
