Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize