you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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