Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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