how hairy? two words: wookie tits
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
