Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
