No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
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